Being Trans Doesn't Automatically Make Me Queer

Features

Nov 13

Featured

I recently came across a video by Kat Blaque titled, “I’m Trans, but I’m NOT Queer (sorry)” and that it got me to thinking.

I was today years old when I realized that to identify as transgender doesn’t inherently make you queer! Of course, I knew this to be true, but that didn’t keep me from subconsciously lumping the two identities into one big category. I mean, being trans means that you automatically take on a queer identity, right?

In a historical context, that might be true. The term “queer” has always been used as this sort of blanket statement to classify all the genders and sexualities on the spectrum. It has been made into a slur, used in derogatory ways, beaten into the minds and flesh of people who do not view themselves as such, and reclaimed by those who do. It can be a jarring, triggering term. The promotion of queer studies and queer culture in mainstream media has softened the blow of this complicated word, but there are still people within the LGBTQ+ community who denounce it entirely. With the existence of “trans” as an umbrella for anyone who rejects their assigned gender at birth, be them a man, woman, anyone in between or outside of this binary representation of gender, what’s the need for the term “queer,” anyway?

I’ve struggled with the acceptance of both of these terms at different points throughout my life, but never in a million years did I think I would readily accept the label of being a queer woman. Quite frankly, the vagueness of the term and its many definitions scared me. In my mind, queer equated to being strange, odd, and hard to decipher. At the start of my transition, I was quite adamant about being recognized as a woman in a binary context. For me, this meant adopting the stereotypical markers of femininity that I had available to me. To be undeniably female was a major goal of mine. So, I took to my own devices. False lashes, makeup, long hair, pushup bras and heels were the articles of presentation that I latched to, simply because I didn’t want someone to mistake me for being anything other than a woman. To be seen as a queer person would’ve meant that I didn’t pass. To be seen as a queer person would’ve meant that, despite my best efforts, my womanhood was getting invalidated due to my appearance, my voice, my mannerisms or whatever other indicator took me out of my oh-so-coveted cis-normative presentation.

I didn’t like the feeling of being “in between,” which, admittedly, is a very problematic view of what being queer is in the first place. Queer is not the absence of authenticity, but rather a different way of viewing it. Queer is not the scraps that fall off of some heteronormative “pinnacle” of identity presentation. Queer is real. Queer is whole. Queer can mean whatever you want it to mean!

Now, as I am in my third year of transition, I am more open to adopting the idea of being queer in the context of my sexuality. Seeing as I fall somewhere in the middle of the sexual orientation spectrum, it makes sense for me to identify with the term. The jury’s still out on my feelings about what queer means to me in terms of gender since I still uphold stereotypically binary presentations of femininity. However, the fluidity and flexibility of the term is comforting, and that’s enough for me.

—

Ivana Fischer is the Culture Editor of WUSSY and a film and media enthusiast who specializes in cultural studies. You can find her across all socials @iv.fischer

Featured