A Gift Guide for the Girl Who Looks Like She Owns a Pet Rat

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Dec 18

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It’s the holiday season, AKA time to indulge in the capitalist practice of showing people you care about them by purchasing material things. Amongst all the gifts out there, you may find trouble for that one person on your list. She’s “alternative” but trendy all the same. She probably has a mullet or has considered getting one. She’s a lil’ dorky, a lil’ sexy, a lil’ dirty. The easiest way to sum up this aesthetic is by asking “do they look like someone who owns or could possibly own a pet rat?” If so then she’s a Rat Girl.

The idea of cool girls with rats isn’t new. There was the iconic 80s indie film Skate Witches (“If you don’t have a rat you can’t be one of us!”). Goth girls have had pet rats in TV and film for years. Billie Ellish, Rico Nasty, and Ilana Glazer are all celebrity examples of the Rat Girl aesthetic. There’s even a viral clip on Twitter of some NYC girls embodying this subculture with actual rats.

Obvi since Wussy is a Queer publication, I need to make a point that gender is a scam and anyone regardless of gender can identify as a rat girl. So if your hard-to-shop-for person is an emaciated fag with green hair, rest assured all these gifts still apply. So without any further ado, here’s my gift guide for the girl who looks like she owns a pet rat.

Checkered Clothing

The Rat Girl’s preferred pattern. Check out these overalls from Unif, and crop top from Dolls Kill or these skinny jeans from Hot Topic (the home of rat girls for decades now).

Pleated skirt

For the girly Rat Girl. This one from Lazy Oaf has cute heart details that will pair amazingly with a Rat Girl’s gross pet.

Chain Jewelry

Much like the Rat Girl keeps rodents imprisoned as pets, it’s popular for her to sport industrial chains to reflect her pet’s imprisonment. You can find them as bracelets/ necklaces at trendy places like Doll’s Kill, or honestly Home Depot.

Sephora Gift Card

It takes a lot of money to look this cheap. Help your rat girl stock up on glitter, dark eyeliner, peachy blush, and whatever else she wants to smear on her face with a Sephora Gift card. This site lets you customize one!

Surfbort T-Shirt

Dani Miller is the Patron Saint of this aesthetic, and while her band Surfbort’s t-shirts are sold out online, here’s a hand-drawn portrait of her on a shirt.

A Tape Deck

Ok boomer listen up: tapes are back and the bands/noise projects Rat Girl’s listen to put stuff out on tapes. Here are two that can also play music via Bluetooth or an aux cord.

https://www.hammacher.com/product/classic-cassette-player-radio-1?cm_cat=ProductSEM&cm_pla=AdWordsPLA&source=PRODSEM&gclid=CjwKCAiAlajvBRB_EiwA4vAqiOR8CRq7TQAmIOMRwLaxAEKAZOzjteMaEg4fTCfi1vpKYgR6OwgyURoCs7gQAvD_BwE

https://www.google.com/shopping/product/753408065912440768?q=tape+deck&rlz=1C1JZAP_enUS703US703&sxsrf=ACYBGNSj0vrZvCG3SUwErMfttOkTCX1smw:1575676013528&biw=1422&bih=588&prds=epd:17147297374681085612,paur:ClkAsKraX_VQ1-wbEDGe2DryMZekkfKtxN9SZaVDEHJfU_IsxfRH-v1sJxBsZNG5G0wDpjWUuL3JlcXJPUrRzoXcHdQo96_LlMiEyyxTmi6_QtFcji03YRZpoBIZAFPVH73ZWRPDwPhd7F5e2jeMXVDKaj5u_A,prmr:1&sa=X&ved=0ahUKEwiasNnLmqLmAhWmxFkKHU3ZB2gQ8wIIrQQ

Tarot Deck

Not all witches are rat girls but all rat girls wish they were witches. Let her feel her fantasy with a tarot deck. She can give her friends readings while she looks up what each card means online. This deck has rats on it!

Bath Bombs

Your Rat Girl may not NEED a bath but she probably looks like she does. Make it fun and Instagramabble with a Lush Bath Bomb. This Elf or Pirates Chest will fit her aesthetic. Lush if you’re reading this please sponsor Wussy.

A Weighted Blanket

Odds are the Rat Girl you’re shopping for doesn’t ever want to leave the bed, so get her a weighted blanket! Don’t worry, her lil pet will be able to squeeze and crawl underneath it like a normal blanket. Here’s one from Walmart.

A Good Book!

Odds are the rad is looking for something to read while her pet crawls all over her. If she doesn’t know about Riot Grrrl (ask her) get her Girls to the Front by Sara Marcus. Her history of the 90s feminist punk movement should be required reading for Rat Girls everywhere. If she’s already read it (likely), Throwing Muses frontwoman Kristen Hersh has a memoir fittingly called Rat Girl. It’s snarky and graphic, with Hersh describing how cool watching blood flow into a sewer is.

You can find a copies of both online but check your local bookstore!

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Mo Wilson is a writer and sometimes DJ living in Brooklyn. He also throws indie rock/punk shows with the booking collective Booked By Grandma and loves plastic jewelry. You can find him on Twitter @sadgayfriendx and Instagram at @djgaypanic

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