The Gag-Worthy Performers We Want to See on RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 12

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Feb 6

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With All Stars 4 dwindling down to its final five after the shocking Manila Luzon elimination (losing a lot of money on my drag fantasy league here), and Season 11 set to premiere just after it, us Drag Race obsessives stay looking towards the future of drag -- aka Season 12.

If you know Drag Race, you know that the winning queen has to bring an arsenal of charisma, uniqueness, nerve, and talent, especially with drag becoming a more visible and competitive art form. So these queens better work.

Which 14 queens do we want to see in the werk room for another season of reading, runway, and Snatch Game? We have a few ideas.

Brigitte Bidet - (@brigittebidet)

Brigitte Bidet is our Atlanta-based queen -- we’re biased and we know it -- but that doesn’t make her less worthy of competing. She comes from an iconic drag family that includes Season 7 winner Violet Chachki. She can dance, turn a look and a lip sync, and we’ll be (not so) secretly rooting for our hometown queen.

T. Rex - (@trexinchicago)

Here’s the tea: hailed as the RuPaul of Chicago, T Rex is supposedly going to be included in Season 12 of Drag Race. She’s already a huge name in her home city and has been on the famed drag talk show, Hey Qween. Known for her comedy and hosting chops, she might be lacking in her lip sync skill set, and we really don’t want to see another Charlie Hides-eqsue forfeit. Or do we?

Cara Cavalli - (@caracavalli)

This Orlando queen is definition fish. Of the brand of long lost Kardashian queens, Cara Cavalli only needs to add a couple Ks to her name to really sell it. (Are we sensing a Kardashian Snatch Game appearance?) Regardless, we love a fashion queen, and Cara’s it.

Nebraska Thunderfuck - (@nebraskathunderfuck)

You read that right. Alaska Thunderfuck’s Season 5 drag daughter makeover challenge recipient, Nebraska, turned into a full on queen after filming. Not only is she ⅓ of a romantic triad with former contestant Derrick Barry, (gagged) but she’s been performing with Barry for years in Las Vegas. She’s also a model (use your Aja voice).

Dahlia Sin - @dahlia_sin

Speaking of Aja, (fight me if you don’t think she was grotesquely robbed in All Stars 3, but that’s a separate discussion) the Haus of Aja includes the tattooed and fierce Dahlia Sin. If Dahlia is added to Season 12, we’re looking at more orange wigs and epic shade, sis.

Kandy Muse - (@thekandymuse)

We might as well continue with the Haus of Aja, because it’s a powerhouse. No shade to Dahlia Sin, as she’s more of a lewk queen, but Kandy Muse is bringing a multitude of talents to Drag Race if she’s cast. An incredible lip syncer and singer, (do you think she’s a fucking libra, too?) she’s already been featured in Sasha Velour’s star-studded show, “Nightgowns” and to put it simply: slays.

Todrick Hall - (@todrick)

This is my fantasy and y’all are just living in it. But can you imagine if Todrick competed in a season? Obviously he’s an iconic coach, but it would be gag-worthy if he decided to put his wig in the ring for the crown. If you’ve never seen him in drag, then please refer to his lip sync for his life on All Stars 3 and also his “Wrong Bitch” video. Gooped.

Eva Young - (@evayoung_)

The beautiful Eva Young is a queen from the Chicago circuit who is serving us the absolutely nice version of Gia Gunn. Known for her looks and makeup, it would be interesting to see what Eva would bring to the competition in addition to runway slayage.

Imp Queen - (@imp_kid)

Can we get a trans contestant in here, please? A few of the contestants who are openly trans post Drag Race were not while on the show. In recent memory, only Peppermint was open about her identifying as a trans woman during filming. Though not to be outdone, Gia Gunn did compete in All Stars 4 as the most annoying villain we’ve seen since post-production Valentina. (Again, fight me.) Imp Queen is proudly trans and serving us Liza Minnelli if she joined the circus realness.

Jasmine Rice LaBeija - (@jasminericenyc)

The House of LaBeija, an iconic New York City drag house, and featured prominently in the visual drag bible, Paris is Burning, only turns out superstars. Jasmine Rice LaBeija -- you’ll get the name in a second -- was actually raised in South Korea before being accepted to Julliard, darling. If Jasmine is cast, she’s coming for the crown.

Hungry - (@isshehungry)

Ok, so Hungry is actually a Berlin based drag queen, but that hasn’t shrunken her scope. She has a massive following, intricate and freaky lewks and makeup, and has been known to hang out with some former Drag Race contestants that are at the top of their respected games (ahem, Miss Fame). Make it fashion.

Mahlae Balenciaga - (@ms_mahlae)

Mahlae has braces, bitch! Can you imagine the reads? She’s probably got an array of shade on deck when it comes to the mechanics in her mouth. She’s known for impersonating Beyonce, but girl, I cannot see another Beyonce performance on Snatch Game unless it’s killer.

Lila Vera - (@queenlilavera)

Lila Vera is giving us Pearl vibes, because most likely, everyone will want to fuck her. That’s not all she’s got though. Mostly a fashion queen, we’re always surprised when a queen brings a little something extra besides garb, a la Club 96.

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Dakota is a poet, journalist, and right in the damn center of the Kinsey scale. Follow her on Twitter: @Likethestates.

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